Legolas Vs. Harry Potter

Posted by Taylor | Posted in | Posted on 6:19 PM

It was a dark dreary day when Harry and Legolas decided to battle. The fued began when Harry's chinese girl, Cho, mentioned that she liked Lord of the Rings and thought that Legolas was especially handsome. Harry, having always been a jealous cus, began emailing and text messaging Legolas threatening him if he would not stay away from Harry's girl. Legolas had never even thought about going for her, but he didnt appreciate the threats. So Legolas made a few phone calls, and yada yada yada, chink got knocked up!

Meanwhile, Gimli the Dwarf went to a bar where he met a large, fellow bearded man named Hagrid. After talking over a few drinks for a couple hours they discovered that their friends were enemies. They were so liquored up at this point that neither of them felt the need to defend their friends, but instead they started planning and scheming with one another. After many more brews their plans were set. They were going to organize to have Harry fight Legolas to see who would become the next Ultimate Fighting Champion. Gimli and Hagrid's motive, of course, is that they would benefit greatly from the ticket sales of this cross cultural fighting challenge.

So the date was set and both men accepted the challenge. Not wanting to give either contender the home court advantage, Gimli made a call to Mr. Tumnus and reserved a large stadium at Cair Paravel in Narnia. The word went out in all of Middle Earth, Hogwart's and Narnia and thanks to the use of facebook and twitter, seats were sold out within the first hour.

The morning had been nothing but clear skies. The stadium was packed full and Gimli and Hagrid sat in their suite counting their cash and smoking cigars. The opening performance was an interpretive dance number performed by the Ring Wraiths and the Dementors. It was a dark number that didn't merit much applause, but no one in the audience could look away. Upon taking their final bows the sunlight was dimmed as dark clouds rolled in filling the sky. Drums began to pound beckoning the contestants to enter the stadium. Fog billowed from the hallway of the stadium entrance. Then, parting the smoke, Harry Potter flew into the stadium soaring above the heads of the crowd as fans exploded into celebration.

After Harry landed the beat of the drums changed. Along with the drums were french horns and flutes playing a beautiful melody while Enya's soothing voice sang over the PA system. An entire section of seating filled with elves and other Middle Earthians rose to their feet. Through the smoke a dark figure slowly emerged. Flaming pyro-techniques exploded on either side of the smoke lighting up the golden blonde hair of the fertile elf. His fans erupted with the yells of dwarves and deep elvish horns.

Legolas walked to the center of the field where Harry stood waiting. The challenger's eyes met. neither one shuttered or backed down an inch as they each stared the other one down. Mr. Beaver waddled out to the center wearing a black and white striped jersey. The Beaver said a few words and then just before the fighting began they all heard a cry from the mid field bleachers. It was Harry's China girl....

Cho climbed over the rail from the bleachers on to the field. She ran as fast as her short chinese legs would carry her. She got to center field and went right to Harry. She spoke...

"Harry, I am so so sorry! I didn't mean for anything to happen. Please please don't fight him!"

Harry looked at her and truly felt sad for himself and for her. He knew that whether he fought or not things were over between them. He wouldn't be with her after what she did. But when he looked back at Legolas with his smug grin and devilish eyes, he wanted nothing more than to end the life of that pointy eared bastard! "Go sit down Cho. You don't want to get hurt." Cho walked away with her face in her hands and Harry pulled out his wand.

Mr. Beaver looked at both contenders and gave them each a nod, as if to ask 'we still good?' They both nodded back. Beaver's hands were raised high above his head, and when he lowered them the fight began and the crown erupted!

Legolas was first to make a move. He pulled out a knife and thrust it toward the young wizard. Harry dodged the blow and rid the elf of his knife with his expelliarmus charm. The knife fell to the earth and Legolas stood there with Harry's wand pointed at his face. Harry's eyes suggested that he so desperately wanted to shout the words 'Avada Kedavra!' and end the tournament early with the death of the great elf Legolas. But, Legolas read Harry's face and saw his emotions and quickly kicked Harry's wand out of his hands and socked Harry right in his lightning bolt scar.

Harry was thrown off his guard for a second, then quickly mounted his broom and took to the sky. Without his wand it would be next to impossible to defeat Legolas. Besides magic, Legolas was stronger in every way. While Harry flew through the air trying to come up with a strategy an arrow flew from the ground nearly hitting him in his thigh. Luckily, the elf wasn't used to firing on people flying through the air on brooms. Especially, brooms as fast as Harry's. But Harry knew that Legolas was not likely to miss again. So almost without thinking Harry dove straight toward the ground on his broom. As he dove he gained more and more speed. The audience was almost completely silenced by this. No one had ever seen a dive like this in all the years that they watched Quidditch. Right before Harry hit the ground he pulled up and just inches from the ground leveled out and flew directly toward his opponent.

When Legolas saw this he quickly grabbed another arrow from his quiver and took aim at Harry. Hermoine and Ron gasped. Legolas let the arrow fly. Harry was flying just as fast toward Legolas as the arrow was flying toward him. And almost instantly the arrow reached Harry and Harry pummeled into Legolas. They both rolled across the stadium floor in a Charlie Brown style ball of dust. When the two contenders came to a stop and the dust settled Harry stood behind Legolas. Somehow in the speedy collision Harry was able to grab his wand from the ground and now held it to the elf's neck. With any number of spells he could cast Legolas was forced to throw in the towel. Harry, full of rage, didn't release the elf right away. He hated Legolas and wanted him dead. But from near by Harry heard Dumbledore yell his name. Harry snapped out of it and let Legolas go.

When Legolas got up he walked away with his head held low. Harry stayed still staring off in the distance. Then he collapsed to the ground. All of Harry's friends rushed to his side. Dumbledore, made his way through the crowd to come to the aid of his young apprentice. When the crowd cleared a bit Harry's wounds became apparent. Harry held his side where Legolas's arrow had pierced him. There was a lot of blood. Dumbledore leaned over and said something to Harry, and while Ron and Hermoine stood by in fear of losing their friend Harry slowly faded out of consciousness. Everything went black. Hermoine and Ron broke into tears.

Harry had won the fight but at what cost. Now his friends were sad and the love of his life was even more unhappy. Narnia was never so somber as it was at that moment.

Later that night, with Ron and Hermoine and other friends by his side and Dumbledore watching over him Harry woke up in the medical wing of Hogwarts.

"Harry!" they all shouted.
"How do you feel?" asked Hermoine.
"I've definitely been better." He responded.
"At least you won." said Ron.
"It doesn't feel that way," Harry said, still sad about the loss of the girl he loved.

As Harry said that someone else grabbed Harry's hand and spoke softly. "Things will get better Harry," she said.

Harry looked up and saw the smiling face of Ginny Weasly. Her red hair glowed and her eyes were so comforting. He smiled back at her and thought to himself 'yes, i think things will get better.' Harry made everyone else leave the room, and found himslef getting over Cho very quickly...

Where it all Began....

Posted by Taylor | Posted in | Posted on 3:18 PM

The Beginnings of Taylor Oborn. An exerpt from the Autobiography of Taylor Oborn entitled, "Taylor Oborn, who is he?"

Before I was born I was on a swim team. It wasn’t a national team and it certainly was no Olympic team. In fact instead of a ‘team’ I’d feel better about calling it a family, or a band of brothers if you will. Each of us on the team had very little time to grow and cultivate our skills, but my band of brothers and I definitely knew who had their strokes down the best. At the next meet we knew I’d win, and then nine months later I’d receive my prize…

If you look past the blood curdling screams of my poor mother in labor, and the frantic work of the medical staff, you would see that that particular May 4th was actually going to turn out to be quite a day. Right around noon on that day one of my heroes and best friends was born. It was me. I was born to Kirk and Sharlene Oborn, and though I might have looked very cute that day (and I still do today) they, as of yet, had no idea the consequence of their failed birth control on that fateful night of passion.